Still
by Still My Heart
Summary: When the ones we love die, we must eventually accept it. Not so for the Doctor.


Peering out the window of the van, he could see everything as it was happening.

They had wanted him there, on the front line, but he had balked when they handed him a gun, so he had been relegated to clean up, waiting in an armored van until the all clear.

Rose was there and though he didn't like to see her using a gun, he couldn't help but smile at her confidence and grace under fire.

The Doctor watched Rose give orders, watched as the operatives listened and nodded, obeying without question. They respected her and he liked that. He knew she liked it too.

"Rose Tyler, defender of the Earth," the Doctor said with a grin and looked down to check his kit.

The shots rang out suddenly, the first of the day, and the Doctor jumped, his head snapping up.

Rose stood stock still in the middle of the street, alone. As the Doctor stared the gun slipped from her hand, clattering to the pavement as she fell to her knees, her hands flying to her stomach, fingers fluttering as they touched blood.

Without thinking the Doctor burst from the van, screaming her name, ignoring the shouts of the Torchwood operatives around him, and ran over to Rose, dropping to the street in time to catch her as she slumped sideways.

Her shirt was rapidly turning red, soaked in the blood that poured from the wounds in her chest and stomach.

The Doctor touched her cheek, unable to speak as he stared down at her. The light was fading rapidly from her eyes, her face twisted in pain.

"No, Rose, no," the Doctor finally managed, tears rising fast.

Rose opened her mouth as if to speak, but there was only a gasp and she was still.

The Doctor stared, stunned, oblivious to the flurry of activity around him. The alien was captured, an anticlimactic ending to Rose's elaborately laid plans.

More shouting, calls for an ambulance, and still the Doctor sat, Rose in his arms. They had lost their leader; he had lost his reason for living.

And then it hit him, wonderful and terrible all at once and he stood, Rose cradled in his arms.

"It's not going to end like this," he murmured and hurried to the nearest car, laying Rose in the backseat and jumping in front.

The car had been left running and the Doctor shifted into gear, still ignoring the shouts, especially those of the man whose car he had just taken.

He sped for home, his mind on the idea that had formed.

He skidded to a stop in front of the house and threw open his door, moving to carefully remove Rose from the backseat.

The Doctor raced around the house to the shed in the back, kicking the door open with his foot, and there it stood, the TARDIS, newly grown and already programmed to the familiar blue police box. Still beautiful.

He set Rose down carefully on the ground and fumbled the key from his pocket.

After a moment of trouble fitting the key in the lock due to his shaking hands, he finally pushed the doors open and picked Rose up, carrying her inside and then gently laying her on the floor.

The Doctor turned to the console, staring up at the pulsing green column.

"Help me," he said plaintively. "Bring her back to me. You helped her to save me, help me to save her."

Still the console sat, the column pulsing green, and the Doctor straightened.

"Bring her back!" he screamed, racing around the console, frantically pushing buttons and pulling levers. "Bring her back to me!" But still nothing.

He kicked the console angrily, never feeling more helpless than he did now.

The Doctor sobbed, sinking to the floor beside Rose.

"It's not supposed to end like this," he cried, staring at Rose's lifeless body. "You're all I have now. It was just you and me, it can't end this way."

The Doctor took Rose's hand, already turning cold, and pressed it to his cheek.

"D'you remember when we met?" the Doctor murmured. "I took your hand and we ran. And we never stopped, did we? Even after the battle, we were always running, hand in hand across worlds. And against the odds, we found each other. All for nothing now." The Doctor released Rose's hand and leaned over to stroke her cheek, smoothing her hair. Still beautiful.

The Doctor sat up again, face stony, staring at the center console without really seeing it.

Still pulsing. Still green.

In his mind the Doctor could see Rose, almost as though she were right in front of him again, the power of the Time Vortex coursing through her, shining and golden and beautiful. The Bad Wolf. A goddess, born from love and that drive to never back down.

His Rose. His beautiful, golden Rose.

The golden light was brighter now and he looked up, frowning, and his mouth fell open.

The console had cracked open and the golden light poured out, swirling around the TARDIS.

The Doctor watched, amazed, as the light flowed toward Rose, surrounding her, caressing her face just as he had done. As it concentrated on Rose the Doctor rose to his knees, staring intently as the shimmering light continued to swirl around Rose until she nearly glowed and then it slipped inside her mouth.

The light grew brighter, almost unbearably so, but the Doctor couldn't look away.

Golden light flowed from Rose's wounds and the Doctor could see the bullets, just two bits of metal, pushed out by the force coursing through Rose. As he watched the bullets became dust, as if they had never existed.

The light pulled back, withdrawing quickly. And then it was gone.

Still pulsing. Still green.

The Doctor stared at Rose, too stunned to move.

He had seen so many things in his life, 900 years of experiences, 900 years of fantastic occurrences, but somehow he'd never seen something quite like this.

He moved forward slowly, still on his knees, and carefully pushed up her shirt, still stained with her blood, and stared at her stomach. Smooth now, no evidence of any trauma.

Rose's eyelids fluttered and she groaned. It took a moment for her to open her eyes and she frowned until her gaze landed on the Doctor.

"Doctor?" she murmured.

"Yeah," he replied, leaning over her and smiling. She smiled back tentatively, raising a hand to touch his face.

"You've been crying," she said, surprised. "What happened?"

"The raid," the Doctor said softly. "You were shot."

"Shot?" Rose murmured, sitting up and looking down at her shirt, once white, now red. "I remember now," she breathed. "The pain, and then you were there... and then you disappeared."

Rose looked up sharply, the realization dawning in her eyes.

"Did I... did I die? Tell me, Doctor."

"Yes," he said simply.

"Well then how..." Rose trailed off, confusion etched all over her face.

"The TARDIS. She brought you back to me."

Rose looked around, noticing her surroundings for the first time, and she smiled. Brilliantly, beautifully.

The Doctor finally pulled her to him, holding her tightly.

"I lost you," he said, holding her face in his hands, staring at her intently.

"I guess even the TARDIS won't let them keep us apart," Rose said, smiling softly.

"Yeah," the Doctor replied with a grin, and kissed her.

The Doctor and Rose Tyler. In the TARDIS.

Still pulsing, still green.

Still beautiful.


End file.
